National Computer Game

Serious Sam is the greatest computer game of all time. Period.


If you don't know what Serious Sam is, we'll tell you. You've played Doom, right? Serious Sam is Doom with more insane enemies, more enemies (1000 per level, sometimes), awesomer level settings, and as thin a plotline.

We have some points for you on why Serious Sam pwns everything else in the known Universe.

1. The enemies

Headless kamikazes who run at you screaming. Headless warriors who carry their heads
in their hands for 'effective communication'. Undead skeletons. Huge bulls which
charge at you faster than light. 100 foot tall King Kong bosses. Unicycling clowns with exploding cakes!!!


2. Number of enemies

Every level has at least 300 enemies. And the enemies don't come at you one by one. They come in friendly bunches of 100, usually when you're up against a wall. And they keep coming, on and on, till all your ammo is done.

3. The plot, or lack thereof

Serious Sam has the most convincing storyline. Serious Sam is the hero, he's from the future, he goes to the past (why?), an evil overlord called Notorious Mental sends enemies to kill him (why?). You remember this for exactly 2 minutes, before it's wiped from your mind by hordes upon hordes of screaming enemies. You mission is to chase Mental through galaxies and timelines while laying wastes to whole planetary armies of his minions. Once you're done, we'll tell you why.

4. Circlestrafe!!

Serious Sam is a self-contained tutorial in the fine, and the all powerful, art of circlestrafing. In fact, that's the only thing you'll learn from the game. If it moves, circlestrafe and shoot the shit out of it.

5. The Attitude

Serious Sam is a wisecracking son-of-a-gun. Some of his lines are sampled below:

Hey, didn't I just kick your ass two rooms back?
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers.
(After getting a huge, deadly chainsaw) Look Ma, I'm a lumberjack!
I hate running backwards!
It's cold! My nipples are like pencil erasers.

6. Level Design

Huge levels with awesome design - Egyptian, Mesoamerican, Babylonian, medieval. And the open levels are infinitely large. You can never run of places for you or your enemy hordes to play catch. Unless they want you to...

7. The weapons

A cannonball that shoots out a huge black ball that mows down everything in its way. A flamethrower that is the most mindlessly fun weapon ever. And, the signature weapon, the minigun, which must be the gun with the best rate of fire in any game.
And did we mention, the Serious Bomb, kills one, kills all.


The beauty of this game game is that everyone needs to get (un)serious and enjoy it. In fact if you are one who doesnt like this game because its too silly, you seriously need to play this game. No game has ever posed such an inescapable choice to mankind ever before, and hence Serious Sam is the National Computer Game.