National Disease

Lolland is the first country in the world to have a national disease - something we are very proud of.

Our national disease is called 'Agtth', or 'A gunshot to the head'. It is a disease that afflicts the young and old alike, and strikes with disconcerting regularity (usually during the weekly military coup). It is also a complication of many a suicide; a week in which there are not 50 gunshot suicides in the country is considered a dull one.

Reasons for the spread of this disease are many. It has been suggested that the Government's kindly and fatherly policy of providing a gun and a rifle to every citizen above the age of two might have something to do with it, not to mention the free upgrade to a Flak Cannon to every citizen with more than 10 frags to his credit. The total absence of police and jails in the country might also play a part. Finally, the noble democratic ideals of Lolland's founding fathers, which empowered every citizen to make his or her own laws, also had an unforeseen side-effect - it is now standard operating procedure to legalize murder about 30 - 45 minutes before committing the act.

Cures for this terrible disease are few. Joining the army is a time-honoured cure; the rationale being that the army is too busy killing to be killed. Leaving Lolland is another cure, but since the only means of departure is by a leaky single seater boat made of rotting wood, and the nearest land being a mere 20000-miles-of-shark-and-pirated-infested, hurricane-ridden-oceanic-deathtrap away, the visa office is understandably not overworked.

We hope one day to replace our national disease with that disease whereby everyone visiting our website does of uncontrollable laughter, but latest reports suggest that we are still very far from that ideal.